The Persian Puzzle: Trump's Middle Eastern Adventure Returns

personNews Editor
November 09, 2024

Welcome back to everyone's favorite geopolitical soap opera, "As The Middle East Turns!" In today's episode, we're watching the return of Donald Trump to the Iran situation, or as I like to call it, "How to Make Frenemies and Alienate People: The Sequel."


The Persian Puzzle: Trump's Middle Eastern Adventure Returns
The Persian Puzzle: Trump's Middle Eastern Adventure Returns


Remember that "maximum pressure" campaign from Trump's first term? It's like when you try to open a jar of pickles by using every muscle in your body, grunting loudly, and then telling the jar it's fired. Well, get ready for Maximum Pressure 2: Electric Boogaloo! This time with extra sanctions and a complimentary set of stern looks.


Speaking of memories, Iran certainly hasn't forgotten about that time Trump decided to send General Soleimani on an unexpected one-way trip to the afterlife. That's the kind of thing that tends to stick in people's minds, like that embarrassing thing you did at the office Christmas party in 2012. Only with more international implications and fewer inappropriate photocopier incidents.


Coming up in October 2025, we've got the expiration of UN Security Council Resolution 2231's snapback mechanism. If you're wondering what that is, imagine a really complicated game of "Tag, You're Sanctioned!" where the rules are written in diplomatic speak so dense it makes quantum physics look like a children's book. Trump and team are likely to want to play this game, while Russia and China are standing in the corner going "Nyet" and "不" respectively.


The resolution is about the JCPOA, which stands for Joint Comprehensive Plan of Action, because apparently "Nuclear Deal" wasn't bureaucratic enough. It's like when your mom used your full name – you knew things were getting serious. Trump's team is probably going to want to snapback those sanctions faster than your old high school sweetheart trying to reconnect on LinkedIn.


But here's where it gets interesting, folks! Remember how Saudi Arabia and the UAE used to be like Trump's Middle Eastern cheerleading squad? Well, times have changed. After the Saudi blockade of Qatar ended (a drama that made "Mean Girls" look like a documentary about friendship), and some unpleasantness involving Iranian-backed Houthi attacks on Saudi oil facilities at Abqaiq (think of it as a very explosive way to say "we need to talk"), the wealthy Gulf states have had what we in the business call a "mood change."


These Gulf states are now doing their best Switzerland impression – trying to stay neutral and calm while counting their money. It's like when your friends who used to be up for any adventure suddenly get married and start talking about the benefits of a good night's sleep. They've gone from "Let's confront Iran!" to "Let's maybe not and say we did?"


This leaves Trump's incoming administration in a bit of a pickle (and not the kind you can solve with maximum pressure). Trying to recreate their anti-Iran alliance is going to be about as successful as trying to get the original cast of Friends to do another season – some of them are just not interested anymore, and the ones who are might not be enough to make it work.


Now, here's the plot twist that would make M. Night Shyamalan proud: Trump might actually want to make a deal with Iran! Yes, you read that right. The man loves making deals more than a car salesman at the end of the month. He'd probably love nothing more than to stand in Tehran, possibly wearing a locally appropriate yet somehow still remarkably shiny suit, announcing the "biggest, most beautiful deal ever made in the history of deals."


But before you start planning your Tehran Trump Tower vacation, remember that small matter of Iran allegedly trying to arrange Trump's permanent retirement from life. That's the kind of thing that tends to put a damper on diplomatic relations, like bringing up your ex's new relationship at Thanksgiving dinner. Trump and his team are likely to hold onto that grudge longer than your grandmother holds onto plastic grocery bags.


So here we are, folks, watching a geopolitical dance where one partner is doing the macarena while the other is attempting a waltz, and nobody can agree on the music. Will Trump's maximum pressure make a comeback tour? Will the Gulf states remember their lines from the last performance? Will Iran ever forgive and forget, or at least pretend to for the sake of international diplomacy?


Stay tuned for the next exciting episode of "Middle East Mayhem: The Trump Returns," where the stakes are high, the tensions are higher, and somebody's probably going to end up sanctioned. 

Just remember: in the grand game of international relations, it's not about who wins or loses, it's about who can claim victory the loudest while secretly wondering if anyone actually knows what's going on.


And hey, if all else fails, there's always the option of everyone agreeing to blame everything on that UN resolution nobody fully understands anyway. It's like the international relations equivalent of blaming the dog for eating your homework – classic, timeless, and surprisingly effective.


The Trump Returns," where the stakes are high, the tensions are higher, and somebody's probably going to end up sanctioned.
The Trump Returns," where the stakes are high, the tensions are higher, and somebody's probably going to end up sanctioned.


After the election, a short US series: Deciphering the complexity of US foreign policy

The United States continues to shape the global landscape. From geopolitical tensions to technological advancements, the US remains a dominant force. In our new series, we delve deep into the multifaceted issues that define American foreign policy.

 

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#Iran #Trump #US #politics #internationalrelations #diplomacy #MiddleEast #geopolitics #JCPOA #sanctions #nucleardeal #SaudiArabia #UAE #GulfStates #Soleimani #maximumpressure #foreignpolicy #news #currentaffairs #history #globalpolitics

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