The Nuclear Arms Race 2.0: Now With Extra Boom!

personNews Editor
November 11, 2024

The "How Many Nukes Are Enough?"

America's favorite game show: "Who Wants to Build More Nuclear Weapons?" Hosted by the Trump administration, where the answer to "How many nukes do we need?" is always "Yes!" 

It's like collecting Pokemon cards, but instead of catching them all, we're stockpiling enough firepower to make the sun feel inadequate.


The Nuclear Arms Race 2.0: Now With Extra Boom!
The Nuclear Arms Race 2.0: Now With Extra Boom!


The SLCM-N Saga: A Tale of Bureaucratic Beauty

Remember the SLCM-N? That's the "sea-launched cruise missile (nuclear)" for those who don't speak Pentagon. It's had more ups and downs than a soap opera character:

  • Trump wanted it
  • Bureaucracy said "maybe later"
  • Biden said "nah"
  • Congress said "do it anyway!"


It's like that group project where nobody can agree on anything, except the stakes are slightly higher than your average PowerPoint presentation.



The Numbers Game: Because Size Matters (Apparently)

Former National Security Advisor Robert O'Brien suggests we need more nukes than Russia and China combined. It's like going to a potluck and bringing enough food to feed three neighborhoods – sure, you'll win the "Most Prepared" award, but at what cost to your kitchen (and wallet)?



The New START Treaty: The End of an Era

New START expires in February 2026, and finding a replacement is about as likely as finding a peaceful solution in a YouTube comments section. Without it, we might witness the beginning of a nuclear arms race that makes the Cold War look like a friendly game of tag.



The Nuclear Triad: Three Times the Fun!

The US is committed to maintaining its nuclear triad:

  1. Silo-based missiles (for when you want your apocalypse delivered with Prime shipping)
  2. Bomber-based weapons (for the traditionalists who prefer their doom air-dropped)
  3. Submarine-based missiles (for those who like their deterrence with a nautical twist)


It's like having three different streaming services – Netflix, Hulu, AND Amazon Prime – because you can't decide which one you like best, so you keep them all.



The "First Use" Policy: Keeping Our Options Open

The administration's stance on nuclear weapons is like that friend who never wants to commit to plans: "We're not saying we'll use them first, but we're also not saying we won't!" It's the nuclear equivalent of responding "maybe" to every Facebook event invitation.



The Modernization Program: Extreme Makeover - Arsenal Edition

We're not just maintaining nukes; we're giving them a complete makeover! It's like those home renovation shows where they say, "We're just going to do a little updating," and next thing you know, you're rebuilding the entire house from scratch.



The Testing Debate: Because Sometimes You Just Need to Know

Some are suggesting we might resume nuclear testing. It's like buying a super expensive car and thinking, "Well, I should probably start it up once in a while to make sure it still works." Except instead of a car, it's... well, you know.



The Strategy Meeting That Never Was

Picture this conversation:

Pentagon Official: "Sir, how many nuclear weapons do we need?" 

Trump: "All of them. And then some more." 

Pentagon Official: "But sir, we already have thousands..." 

Trump: "Did I stutter? Make them bigger, better, beautifuler!" 

Pentagon Official: "That's not a word..." 

Trump: "It is now. Executive order!"

.



The Price Tag: Who Needs a Budget Anyway?

The cost of all this? Don't ask! It's like going to a fancy restaurant where the menu has no prices – if you have to ask, you probably can't afford it. Except in this case, we're all splitting the bill whether we like it or not.


Warning: Side effects of this nuclear policy may include: elevated blood pressure among arms control experts, spontaneous outbreaks of Cold War nostalgia, and a sudden urge to build a backyard bunker.



The Grand Finale: A Explosive Conclusion

In conclusion, we're entering an era where "more" is the new "enough," "bigger" is the new "adequate," and "restraint" is something that happens to other people. It's like an arms race meets an episode of "Keeping Up with the Kardashians" – excessive, expensive, and everybody's watching to see what happens next.


Disclaimer: No actual nuclear weapons were tested in the making of this article. Though given current trends, stay tuned...


The "How Many Nukes Are Enough?" Show
The "How Many Nukes Are Enough?" Show

After the election, a short US series: Deciphering the complexity of US foreign policy

The United States continues to shape the global landscape. From geopolitical tensions to technological advancements, the US remains a dominant force. In our new series, we delve deep into the multifaceted issues that define American foreign policy.

 

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#NuclearArmsRace #NuclearProliferation #NuclearWeapons #NuclearDeterrence #NuclearWar #NationalSecurity #Military #Geopolitics #InternationalRelations #ColdWar #NuclearWinter #GlobalSecurity #ArmsControl #NonProliferation #NuclearSafety #NuclearPower #NuclearRisk #NuclearThreat #NuclearPolicy #WorldPeace

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