The world's longest-running geopolitical drama: "Keeping Up with the Kims!" While Trump was busy on the campaign trail talking about, well, Trump (shocking, I know), our favorite hermit kingdom has been quietly planning season 2024 of their hit series "How to Get Attention Without Starting World War III."
 |
| North Korea: The Reality Show Nobody Asked For, But Can't Stop Watching |
You see, North Korea is like that friend who posts cryptic social media updates when they're feeling ignored. Except instead of vague Facebook statuses, they launch missiles. It's their way of saying "Hey, remember us? We're still here! And look what we can do!" It's basically international relations meets toddler show-and-tell, but with nuclear warheads.
Remember 2017? When Trump went all "fire and fury" on Kim Jong Un? That was like watching two reality TV stars trying to out-drama each other. Trump was giving us his best "You're fired!" energy, while Kim was serving "Next Top Nuclear Dictator" realness. The whole thing had more dramatic tension than a season finale of "The Bachelor."
But here's the fun part: Trump and Kim ended up having their own romantic comedy moment in 2018. Picture this: South Korean officials playing matchmaker, passing notes between them like we're all back in high school. "Kim wants to meet you." "OMG, really? Tell him I'm totally open to that!" Next thing you know, they're writing love letters to each other that would make Shakespeare blush.
Meanwhile, in 2024, North Korea is busier than a squirrel at a nut convention. They're sending weapons to Russia (because apparently Putin's Christmas list included "artillery shells"), cozying up to China and Iran (it's like they're forming the geopolitical equivalent of a boy band), and still finding time to threaten South Korea (old habits die hard, you know?).
But here's the genius part: Kim Jong Un has mastered the art of being just annoying enough to make headlines without actually triggering World War III. It's like when your cat knocks things off the table – sure, it's irritating, but are you really going to kick it out of the house? They'll launch a missile here, send some troops there, maybe threaten a neighbor or two... it's like they're playing "How Far Can We Push It?": International Edition.
And don't be surprised if Kim suddenly goes full charm offensive on Washington. It would be like that ex who suddenly starts liking all your Instagram posts right when you're about to block them. "Hey America, remember the good times? When we were exchanging letters and meeting in Singapore? Those were fun, right?"
The real question is: will Kim's 2024 performance be dramatic enough to force Trump to hit pause on his other favorite shows (like "Border Wars" and "Who Wants to Be a NATO Member?") and pay attention? Will we get another season of "Summit and the City," or will Kim's actions just become the new background noise, like your neighbor's kid learning to play the drums?
History suggests that Kim will keep the director's chair, while the US plays the role of reactive audience member. It's like being in a relationship where your partner always picks the restaurant – sure, you can complain about the choice, but at the end of the day, you're still eating wherever they decided.
So buckle up, folks! Whether Trump wants it or not, North Korea is that recurring guest star who always manages to steal the show. They might not be on the main campaign poster, but they're definitely in the "Previously on..." segment of every episode.
Remember: in the grand theater of international relations, sometimes the most dangerous performance is the one that keeps you just entertained enough to not change the channel. Stay tuned for more episodes of "Missiles & Mayhem: The Pyongyang Chronicles" – coming to a news cycle near you!
After the election, a short US series: Deciphering the complexity of US foreign policy
Key Topics:
- 1. US leadership in the world (America First, But Not Alone: A Look at Trump 2.0's Foreign Policy )
- 2. Global trade (The Art of the Squeal: A Comedy of Trading Errors)
- 3. The war in Ukraine (The World's Most Dangerous Group Chat: A Tale of Troublemaking Nations)
- 4. NATO (NATO's Guide to Surviving Your Ex Coming Back as Your Boss)
- 5. Competition with China (The Art of the Squeal: America's Got Tariffs Season 2)
- 6. Iran (The Persian Puzzle: Trump's Middle Eastern Adventure Returns)
- 7. Relations with the EU (The European Union's Guide to Surviving Your Difficult American Uncle)
- 8. Digital currencies (The Tremendous Tale of Trump's Crypto Conversion)
- 9. Artificial intelligence (Making AI Great Again: A Totally Serious* Guide to America's AI Future)
- 10. Climate change (The Amazing Climate Change Circus: A Comedy in Several Acts)
- 11. The energy transition (America's Energy Dating Game: A Love Story Gone Nuclear)
- 12. Global democracy promotion (America's Next Top Political System)
- 13. Taiwan (The Art of the Taiwan Deal: A Guide to Complicated Friendships)
- 14. US-Turkey relations (The Greatest Show on Earth: US-Turkey Relations in the Trump Era 2.0)
- 15. Venezuela (Venezuela and Trump: When Oil Romance Goes Wrong)
- 16. North Korea (The Reality Show Nobody Asked For, But Can't Stop Watching)
- 17. The Abraham Accords between Israel and Arab nations (Middle East Peace-Making for Dummies)
- 18. US-India relations (The Art of the Modi-Trump Tango: A Love Story for the Ages)
- 19. Relations with Africa (The Great African Adventure: Trump's Guide to Winning Friends and Influencing Continents)
- 20. US-Mexico relations (The Great Wall of Trump 2.0: Now With Extra Spice!)
- 21. Immigration (Operation Pack-Your-Bags: The Greatest Show on Earth (Whether You Like It or Not))
- 22. Nuclear weapons (The Nuclear Arms Race 2.0: Now With Extra Boom!)
- 23. Nuclear energy (The Only Thing Democrats and Republicans Can Agree On (Besides Loving Pizza))
- 24. US grand strategy (The Great Geopolitical Hangover: America's Holiday from History is Over (And Boy, Does Our Head Hurt))