Making AI Great Again: A Totally Serious* Guide to America's AI Future

personNews Editor
November 09, 2024

The Return of the Deal-Maker

Buckle up! We're about to embark on the most spectacular, the most tremendous journey into the future of artificial intelligence – Trump style! Remember when people worried about AI taking over the world? Well, forget that! Under the new plan, AI will only take over the parts we want it to take over, preferably with a giant "MADE IN USA" stamp on it.


Making AI Great Again: A Totally Serious* Guide to America's AI Future
Making AI Great Again: A Totally Serious* Guide to America's AI Future


Regulation? We Don't Need No Stinking Regulation!

You see, the current administration has been treating AI companies like teenagers at a house party – too many rules, too many chaperones, and definitely not enough fun. But our former-turned-maybe-future president has a different vision: "Let the robots run free!" It's like giving a toddler scissors and saying, "Don't worry, they'll figure it out!" Because nothing says 'responsible innovation' quite like completely unsupervised artificial intelligence.


The plan is brilliant in its simplicity: First, we take all those pesky regulations that Biden put in place and throw them in the same pile where we put those "Terms and Conditions" nobody reads. Then, we tell tech companies, "Go wild! Just remember to sprinkle some 'free speech' on whatever you create." It's like giving a five-year-old the keys to a candy store and saying, "Self-regulate, kiddo!"



The Energy Master Plan

But wait, there's more! To win the AI race, we need energy. Lots of it. So much energy that Texas might need to become one giant power plant. The plan is to power our AI supremacy with so much energy that you could probably see America glowing from space. Take that, Chinese satellites!


"We're going to dig for coal, drill for oil, and maybe – just maybe – figure out how to harness the hot air from political speeches," a campaign insider probably didn't actually say. "It's going to be beautiful. The most energy-hungry AI systems you've ever seen. They'll be like teenagers with unlimited data plans – consuming everything in sight!"



The International AI Forum? No Thanks, We're American!

Why participate in international AI forums when you can just do your own thing? It's like being invited to a potluck dinner and deciding to host your own BBQ instead – with blackjack and freedom! The new approach to international AI cooperation will be simple: America first, America second, and maybe we'll send a postcard to everyone else letting them know how great we're doing.


Those multilateral AI standards meetings? Please! That's just a bunch of countries sitting around trying to agree on things. How inefficient! Under the new plan, we'll make our own standards. They'll be the best standards. Tremendous standards. Standards so good that other countries will wish they thought of them first.



The Great AI Race: USA vs China (and Everyone Else is Just Watching)

Remember the Space Race? Well, this is like that, but with more computers and fewer moon landings. The goal is simple: Beat China at AI so badly that their algorithms will need therapy. We're talking about an AI arms race where the arms are actually neural networks, and the race is more like a marathon where both participants are claiming they're winning while running in opposite directions.



Military AI: Because Regular Military Wasn't Expensive Enough

The military aspect is where things get really interesting. We're not just talking about smart bombs anymore – we're talking about bombs so smart they could probably file your taxes (though accuracy is not guaranteed). The plan is to develop military AI so advanced that our enemies will surrender just by reading its specifications.


"We're going to have AI systems so powerful," a hypothetical general might say, "that they'll be able to win wars before they even start. It's like having a chess computer, but instead of chess, it's playing 4D military strategy while also writing strongly-worded letters to our adversaries."



The Free Speech AI Initiative

But here's the real kicker: All these AIs will be programmed with "free speech and human flourishing" capabilities. What does that mean? Nobody knows! But it sounds great, doesn't it? It's like installing a freedom app on your phone – you're not quite sure what it does, but it makes you feel more American just having it.



The Grand Strategy

So, to summarize this masterpiece of policy planning:

  1. Throw out all the old rules (they were probably written by nerds anyway)
  2. Let tech companies do whatever they want (what could possibly go wrong?)
  3. Power everything with enough energy to light up the Eastern Seaboard
  4. Ignore international cooperation (because who needs friends when you're winning?)
  5. Beat China at everything (especially the things they're not competing in)
  6. Make military AI so smart it'll make Einstein look like a chatbot


Conclusion: The Future is Bright (Literally, from All Those Server Farms)

In the end, this bold new direction in AI policy is like trying to teach a dog to drive – ambitious, potentially catastrophic, but hey, wouldn't it be amazing if it worked? And remember, in the grand tradition of American innovation, if something goes wrong, we can always blame it on a software update.


The Future is Bright (Literally, from All Those Server Farms)




After the election, a short US series: Deciphering the complexity of US foreign policy
The United States continues to shape the global landscape. From geopolitical tensions to technological advancements, the US remains a dominant force. In our new series, we delve deep into the multifaceted issues that define American foreign policy.

 

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#AI #artificialintelligence #machinelearning #deeplearning #neuralnetworks #datascince #bigdata #datascience #nlp #natural language processing #computer vision #AIethics #AIbias #AIsafety #AIfuture #AIjobs #AIeducation #AIresearch #AIinnovation #AIimpact
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